Harry Potter should own a gun

[USA] Sarcastic
Joined 15/10/2017
Posts 21,818
12:39 AM 21/07/2019
Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

Here's why:

Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead.

Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? If you say ok in the replies you’re gay Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it.

Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12.

And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal.

Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger?

Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova.

Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.

I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series:

"Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1."

And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.


Pig Friends
Joined 02/03/2019
Posts 1,059
12:44 AM 21/07/2019
Too long didn’t read


TOUCKETT
Joined 27/12/2017
Posts 441
12:45 AM 21/07/2019
Too long didn’t read


[thic] Mettaton
Joined 22/04/2017
Posts 33,336
12:46 AM 21/07/2019
“gun control means Voldemort wins” is such a raw line

even thought this is pasta, support


FatAsABrick
Joined 19/03/2017
Posts 6,845
12:47 AM 21/07/2019
I'm on my switch rn


[USA] Sarcastic
Joined 15/10/2017
Posts 21,818
12:48 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from Mettaton , 12:46 AM 21/07/2019
“gun control means Voldemort wins” is such a raw line

even thought this is pasta, support
Frick you just made me read the whole thing again 😡


[thic] Mettaton
Joined 22/04/2017
Posts 33,336
12:48 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from FatAsABrick , 12:47 AM 21/07/2019
I'm on my switch rn
that’s cool

get on fortnite


FatAsABrick
Joined 19/03/2017
Posts 6,845
12:49 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from Mettaton , 12:48 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from FatAsABrick , 12:47 AM 21/07/2019
I'm on my switch rn

that’s cool

get on fortnite
Kk


rowbot
Joined 15/04/2017
Posts 3,986
12:49 AM 21/07/2019
epic but I didn't read anything


[thic] Mettaton
Joined 22/04/2017
Posts 33,336
12:53 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from Sarcastic , 12:48 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from Mettaton , 12:46 AM 21/07/2019
“gun control means Voldemort wins” is such a raw line

even thought this is pasta, support

Frick you just made me read the whole thing again 😡
I mean, it is a line in this pasta


[thic] Mettaton
Joined 22/04/2017
Posts 33,336
12:53 AM 21/07/2019
Quote from rowbot , 12:49 AM 21/07/2019
epic but I didn't read anything
you’ve got the spirit and I like that

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